Today, loyalty is often considered a sign of weakness.  After all, if we have the opportunity to bash someone, to destroy their work and character, why shouldn’t we take it, especially when they are not in the room with us?  Why not show ourselves as the stronger candidate, the better worker, the more powerful leader when the occasion presents itself?  And if levelling destructive criticisms at someone who is absent is the way to achieve that end – well, let the end justify the means.  The problem with that approach is that people around us lose respect for us and they quickly understand how we would treat them when they are not in the room.  Yet there is something else – in being mean-spirited, we give people permission to treat us the same way.  Why should we then be surprised to learn that someone was disloyal to us in our absence?  Why should it come as a shock that when we were not present to defend ourselves, to advance the true position and to correct the narrative that we were taken advantage of?  Life has a way of being circular and what goes around does seem to come around again and hit us in the face.

If people know that if you treat one person with respect, then under a different circumstance you would likely treat them the same way, even if there was some strain or pressure added.

– Stephen R. Covey